The fact of the matter is . . .

I was feeling down and angry at the world so I closed my blog off because I felt that my Q&A was too depressing and well, angry. Now I don't want you to think I had a horrible day or don't love being a mom. These are just thoughts I've had and they were kind of building up. I've mulled it over for a few days and decided to open it up, not delete the post, and if people really want to know the truth without judging me too harshly, well then, there it is.
I have discovered though, how to combat these moods of negativity:
Peace and Quiet.
"What?" you say.
Here is how you get peace and quiet according to Asher. He told me today he knows how to get peace and quiet and showed me how. So, if you need a little peace and quiet, here's what you do:

And this is what Eden is doing right behind Asher.


(That's right, coloring on my piano books. Now you understand why I need a little peace and quiet.)

"Wow"

So, reflections is a national PTA thing where kids use their creative skills (spurred on by mom/dad) to create a project that reflects the theme. This year's theme is "wow". I'm sorry but can you say cheesy? Anyway, Mara wrote a little poem this summer that I thought would be a good starting point for a song. She wrote all the lyrics with a similar theme as the poem and then I had her sing it to whatever melody she wanted. We had her add a bell part as well and voila. . .a song is born. She's no prodigy but it's cute and sweet and she really enjoyed doing it and feels a sense of accomplishment.

(Don't you love my awesome photoshop skills? Hey at least I got the MP3 on here. You have no idea what a task that is. You can't just upload an MP3 to a blog.)

Wednesday's Q&A: Questions to which there is no answer

Q. Why is it that no matter how early I go to bed I still feel tired during the day?

Q. Why is it that no matter how late my kids go to bed they still wake up early?

Q. Why is it that I am such an emotional crier?

Q. Would I be a better mother if I only had one child?

Q. How is it that no matter how hard I try my house is always messy?

Q. Why am I always engaged in power struggles with my daughters?

Q. Why can't people be honest with eachother? Why do we have to be so quick to judge and turn our backs on eachother?
Story: Last week at the library a little girl came up to me and said "Can I be her best friend?" pointing to Mara. I thought it was so cute and sweet but it also made me think about why it is people are so afraid to get close to eachother, let others in, be honest. We all have baggage. We all have issues, things we are working on. What brings us closer together is our ability to share and uplift. There are some women I know that I feel like asking "why is it that you're so afraid to let people in?" Why, when I offer to do some simple thing or to give some little thing you have to say no? Are you afraid of looking weak? Or what it might show about you?
I know this is pretty dull and disheartening but it's what's on my mind.

Wednesday's Q&A: A picture is worth a thousand words

This is a long one but it doesn't require too much reading so don't give up.Also, I'm know I'm no photographer and don't have an artistic eye. Please. It is completely unnecessary to point that out to me.

Q. What do you no longer have to go on a TV talk show to have done?

A. I found this ad in my Sunday paper. That gnawing fear can be cleared up in the privacy of your own home. I love that it says "For Questions only DNA can answer." Really, shouldn't we be able to answer that without the help of DNA? And, it also says "not available in New York State". Why in the WORLD would that be the case? I think they may desperately need it there. Second to Las Vegas, maybe.

Q. Speaking of, what the . . .how is it that your kids have reddish hair? (I get asked this ALL the time.)

A. Once upon a time, Jason had hair. And it was red. I'm glad I have an excuse. I feel bad for all my friends with redheads and no reason other than genetics of course. They get the milkman/postman/UPS guy question A LOT. No joking.Q. Is that Jason with a hair transplant? (Also a common question.)

A. No (he wishes), that is actually my nephew Austin with Eden. But don't worry, even Asher asked if it was dad with hair.

Q. What's Eden so satisfied about in this picture?A. In case you can't tell, she climbed on top of the piano to the treat box I keep for piano students; got a box of nerds and helped herself.

Q. Why is Eden on the TV in this picture? (Is she always climbing?)

A. She is trying to get the CD player on to listen to Hannah Montana. No Joke. So not my child. (And YES, always.)

Q. ON the subject of "not my child", what type of commentary does Mara give as she reads her books?

A. It makes me wonder if my outfits would be "cute" or "not cute".

Q. How can you tell it's cold out and that I'm lonely and bored?

A. I made these chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips despite the fact that we have a whole bowl of Halloween candy. I don't even like chocolate. But these are good. Unfortunately for me. (But good for all the rest of you who secretly wish I would gain weight. Yah, I know who you are.)

Q. What did I find on my counter after Jason cleaned out his old desk?

A. You can see where he likes to eat. (Don't let the picture deceive you, this bag is huge.)

Q. What brought a smile to my face today?

A. Well, many things, but this in particular. My sweet boy did this. He also added dad. He's the bald one in the photo. Notice we are holding hands. I asked him what that was above and he said "you know when the sun goes down and sometimes the sky is yellow and blue and pink." Yes, sweetie, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.

Wednesday's Q&A, Aw crap, it's Friday: All about etiquette

Q. Why haven't you responded to my email/posted on my blog/posted on your blog? Isn't that the polite thing to do?
A. Let me describe the mood in my house: cranky, tired, busy, worn-out, exhausted, ornery. And that's not my kids I'm describing. So, I have not had time, energy or enthusiasm for any of this "fun-ness" of the WWW.

Q. What do you do when you are driving and someone lets you get in front of them in traffic?
A. If you don't know this you are banned from my blog. You are supposed to give them a "Thank You" wave. I hate when people don't do this.

Q. How long do you have to keep something someone gave you or your kids before you can trash it?
A. No really, I'm asking you. If my kids get some toy or "cute" knickknack or I get some "inspiring" quote to put up on my fridge, how long do I have to hold onto it out of obligation to them or my kids before I can toss it? Honestly, how many quotes can I put up on my fridge? I know I have to work on everything so will seeing a quote really help? I go home and toss it. (In case you think I'm just horrible, I don't ALWAYS do that. Sometimes I do keep it.) In my kids' case I usually do it that same evening while they are in bed. Even if it is some humongous teddy bear from their grandparents. Sorry, but no go. I've told you of my dislike for stuffed animals, right? (Don't worry, I'm not talking about anything any of you have ever given us. It's all those other people out there.)

Q. How should you react to someone else's out of control child at the grocery store?
A. Smile bemusedly and be grateful it's not your own. DON'T JUDGE. SERIOUSLY! Who are you anyway? There is one caveat-- if they are doing something the mom doesn't see and maybe they should know about b/c they might get hurt or someone else might. Otherwise, let them throw their tantrum and be glad you don't have to deal with it. For now.

Q. What do you do if your friend says something completely thoughtless and a little hurtful? Purely a hypothetical question, of course.
A. You have two options. 1) Talk to them about it--I'm sure "they" didn't mean it that way and would feel really bad knowing it hurt you and would apologize immediately. 2) Give "them" the benefit of the doubt and forgive and forget. "They" are a really nice person and probably didn't mean it like that. I'm saying this just in case. You never know.

Wednesday Q&A

Q. How long did it take for Mara to lose her first loose tooth?

A. 9 hours. She woke up in the morning, discovered her tooth was loose and immediately grabbed an apple and started eating it. Then she went for the floss and had Jason tie it around her tooth and the doorknob and slam the door. In the middle of this was me saying "Mara, just give it time, it will come out on its own when it's ready." She responded by saying "Mom, why does everything always have to be YOUR way." I proceeded to suck back my anger and respond in appropriate mother fashion. The second go-round of floss and slamming doors did the trick. Jason appropriately commented "She has the patience of a Gough." For any of you who are familiar with Jason's dad or any of those with Gough DNA, you'll know exactly what this means. Mara, of course, had to rub it in by saying "See mom!". And I smiled all the while thinking about how this will evolve in her teenage years. ("You don't know anything mom, I'm not going to listen to you, remember the time with my first loose tooth . . ."she has an incredible memory.)

Q. What did I lie about in my blog last week?

A. Well, you know how I was "jokingly" talking about my friendlessness? I made the comment that we would spend the days off from school all alone. Well, that was a lie. We actually were somewhat popular this weekend. I know, surprise, surprise. Thursday we did hang out by ourselves and went to the LDS Church History Museum to enjoy an interactive display "I am a Child of God." Then we went to Temple Square, the SLC Library and Jason's new office. Friday we went WITH FRIENDS (yeah) to Cabela's and Ikea. The kids had a blast and so did us moms. Thanks to Rachel. Then Saturday we went to Santaquin for a hayride, a trip to the pumpkin patch and a visit with the friendly Santaquin police officer who kindly broke into my car for me and got my keys out. We had icecream and even Shea made a guest appearance. I saw her long enough to bulldoze her with my unneccessary opinions and then we ended with nice dinner at Cracker Barrell. We had a blast with Morgan, Esther and Sariah. The only downside was when Eden walked in front of the waiter and was taken down and got a fat lip. Live and learn child! (JK) Then Monday we hiked up to Stuart Falls with Brooke and Kate. It was GORGEOUS, perfect weather, wonderful. The kids did great. At one point the wind blew and leaves were raining down. I can't describe the beauty of it. (I'll post pictures once I get some from Brooke--thanks Brooke.) SO thanks to all of my friends (right?) who humor me.

Q. Why is it that I am apparently unfit to be a mother of girls?

A. Here is a little background info: Today I was visiting with a couple ladies and one lady (mother to 4 girls) commented on how when her children were younger she worried that if she died who would do their hair. REALLY? I have NEVER even thought of that. NEVER. And I will still never worry about that. The other lady, who was recently out of town for 2 weeks, told us how her neighbor (sweet older lady) came over every morning before school to do her daughters' hair. (2 girls: 7,10) Here is a typical morning for me: "Mara go spray your hair with detangler and brush it." Done. Once every couple weeks I will actually "do" her hair. Not that I do that much. Today I was proud of myself for putting in ponytails, get this, with bows. She came home with her hair down. But, since I reminded her this morning that I had paid for those bows, she did bring them home. She's learning. Evidently I am missing some pertinent genetic information that makes me a girl. These women also discussed how long they take to curl/do their own hair and how their sons and husbands help hold curling irons and curl the back. It's not that I wasn't taught correctly. My first grade teacher nicknamed me "ribbon girl" because I always had ribbons in my hair. Thanks to my mom. Too bad she didn't pass that necessary information on to me. Because I am failing people. FAILING.

Wednesdays Q&A: The Side Effects of Moving

Q. Why are you so happy right now?

A. I just got back from a fun girls only Halloween party (thanks to the girls who went out of their way to make sure I came) and there is no school Thursday, Friday and Monday (and no piano lessons.) SO we can do whatever we want. We,meaning me and the kids, because I am so lonely.

Q. So, I noticed your profile says you are lonely, is that better now, what with the party and all?

A. Well, it's hard being the new person and feeling on the outside all the time. It's hard not having people to call and talk to and friends to call if you need someone to take your kids, or people to stop over and say hi. Or even just people who want to hang out with you. But, I know it will just take time and I have to be patient. Because, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit, people like me!

Q. What would you be willing to sacrifice to have a friend in your new neighborhood, because you know everything requires some sacrifice?

A. Well, I would be willing to talk about scrapbooking, and organizing my home, and bunko, and Anita Stansfield novels and whether or not we are "trying" (I did have someone ask me that already, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU! But hey, I'll tell you if you'll be my friend.). Heck, I'd even read Twilight. If you'll be my friend. . . .

Q. Are you serious with all this stuff?

A. Well, I'm being a tad facetious. I am a little lonely but people have been really friendly and kind. It just takes time to find a new BFF, other than Jason of course (you know I love you) and I understand that. So for now, I'm doing a lot of Family Search Indexing! (See my previous post.)

Yes! It is 11:48 and I got in my Wednesday Q&A. My internet was down all day but I did it with 12minutes to spare. Good night. My only friends. Aaah, sweet cyberspace.

Here is a picture I stole from my sister's blog. I love it!