Superiority Complex

I don't really have a superiority complex. I'm well aware of my many faults. But unfortunately, I can come off that way when I criticize or find fault with others. I'm reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (I know, about time) and I came across this quote:

Every man is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. Emerson

We've had a lot of visitors lately, which I've loved. But sometimes when you get family together you can gossip and talk about others. I fell into that and feel awful for that. So, by way of public apology, let me tell of how I learn of my wonderful family members and their superiority to me. (Warning: this gets cheesy but don't let that make you think in anyway that it is insincere. I truly mean what I say.) And let me apologize up front for the length.

Debi: Debi is so amazing at multitasking. She teaches seminary, runs a Musical Theater Program, coordinates her children's schedules, cooks, cleans, runs and plays hostess to our gang when we come up. It's exhausting for me to think about.

Alex: What can you say about Alex other than he's just a stand up guy. He's such an all-around good guy. Seriously.

Johnny: Johnny put up with wrestling with my kids. A lot.

Josie: Josie was such a good sport about playing with Mara (and Jason). She took her on rides at Seven Peaks when I'm sure she wanted to do some of her own stuff. And she let Jason soak her in the water fight.

WARNING: This photo may be inappopriate for young children.

Darren: Darren is so good at taking care of Jason for me. He entertains him and takes him and gives me a break. It's so generous of him to do that and I know how hard it is for him. He's so considerate.

Susan: Now, when I say this, don't take this the wrong way but I know how popular that "Pioneer Woman" blog is. Well, Susan is totally a pioneer woman. She cans everything. Everything. Her food storage is well, I could live off it now and eat better than I do normally. She is talented in so many areas. And, she has four kids and you wouldn't know it to look at her. Damn! Sometimes, it's hard to stand next to her.

Morgan: Morgan is growing into such a gorgeous, sweet young woman. Tender, and softhearted. I can't wait to see the woman she will become.

Rick: Ahh Rick, I used to be a bit intimidated by Rick because he's the joker of the family (and you all know that I'm not witty) but he's grown on me and been so kind to us. He was so good with all the stress of the wedding and laid back about it all. He can joke but still be spiritual. I love that about him.
Sue: This woman will give you the shirt off her back. At Christmas I told her I liked a decoration she had. She came in SEPTEMBER and brought me one because she remembered that. She's always that way-- so giving. She overwhelms me with her generosity.

Aaron and Amy: Well, I didn't really interact with Aaron and Amy but I am SO glad they got married in UT so we could be there. Thanks for being so considerate of us. (Well, I know it wasn't really for us in particular but nevertheless, I'm so glad we could be a part of it.)

Jessica and Matt;Lisa and Austin: I decided to group these two couples together because they are both darling couples, the girls gorgeous and the guys handsome and they are the BEST about playing with the kids. They have way more energy than I do. They are even willing to take Eden when she's fussy and calm her down by running up/down the stairs. Jessica is so like her mom in helping others and Lisa is so sweet and kind. Matt and Austin are fun and sweet to their wives. I need pictures of the girls' faces so you can see how beautiful they are.

Adam: Adam. I talked to Adam more in this weekend than the previous 11 years of being married into this family. And I discovered that he's not a "whigger" as Jason calls him. (Don't blame me--it's Jason's word.) He's actually very funny and genuine and get this, normal. He doesn't growl or bite. Contrary to public opinion.

Adison: Adison likes to act like he's all tough and whatnot (which he TOTALLY is) but he actually can be very sweet and a softie. (But don't tell him I told you that. He does not want that going around.)

Rachel: Poor Rachel has to be the baby sister to the whole bunch. But she is so goodnatured about it. To have all those big brothers teasing you would probably make you want to go on a killing spree but she puts up with it and laughs it off well. I can definitely learn from her.

Jenna: Jenna amazes me with her strength in getting through whatever trials are put in her way. She has such a quiet determination about her.

Kevin: Kevin takes care of Jenna wonderfully. As a sister that's what I want for her and I know he wants her best interests. I'm so glad she has him.

Wednesday's Q&A: A Special Utah Driver's Edition

For those of you who don't know or who have never been to Utah--Utah drivers can be a little scary. Just read and you'll see.

Q. How many times have I been brighted in the car pool lane to move over?
A. Twice. Both times I was going probably 4 miles over the speed limit. I’m sorry, I’m not going to break the law so you can break the law. Seriously? You want me to move over when it is a double line so you can speed faster? If you want to speed, you cut out. (Oh and BTW I should add that there has only been a carpool lane in UT for maybe 2 years.)

Q. How many times have I flipped off a driver in Utah?
A. Once. I was young and stupid, but boy did I learn my lesson. Jason was driving just south of BYU campus and a car was riding us and flashing their brights. Then, they passed us. Note: This is on a residential street. So, Jason was annoyed and passed them back and I flipped them off. Again, need I mention that I was stupid. Well, they followed us. When we stopped at a red light, two guys got out of their car and came up to us. Let me describe what they looked like and I think you’ll understand their type: Short, stocky, muscular and get this, in overalls, with NO shirt underneath. That’s right. Guys. In overalls. With no shirts underneath. We quickly locked the doors and Jason rolled down his window an inch. (There is no shame in protecting yourself people. Especially from meatheads.) The guys got in his face and eventually said “You’re lucky your girlfriend is in the car.” Wife. Whatever. ANYWAY, long story short, that is one of the many dumb things I did. When I was much, MUCH younger.

Q. What annoys me more, people who speed or people who drive under the speed limit?
A. My answer should be people who speed because they put everyone else at danger, BUT it’s actually people who drive under the speed limit. Today I was on a 35 mph street and we weren’t even going 25. Get with it people. Uhhhhhhhhh. Should I share another story? Why not, you can always tune out if you don’t want to read this. One time I was heading to BYU campus(again) and was behind a slow car and saying my typical—come on Grandpa. Then the same Grandpa took the parking space I spotted but luckily I found another. (Parking there is a pain.) Turns out, it was Henry B. Eyring and his wife. You’d think I would have learned my lesson and have more patience with slow drivers . . .

Common Stylist "Compliments"

I just got my hair done this week.

Nothing exciting. A trim and I went darker. (I need something closer to my natural color so I won't have obvious roots when it grows out.)

Anyway, as I was there and talking to my friend Jenn about the many hair colors of ME she said "You look good in any color". Now, not that I disbelieve her, because she is a very genuine person, and I have to say I DO look good in ANY color. It just made me think later Do stylists really mean it when they say that, or is that one of those -you say that to everyone-things

Here are a few hair stylist "compliments" that can make you wonder--



1. You'd look good in any color.

2. No, that doesn't make you look like a boy. (It goes with number 3 . . .)

3. Short hair fits you.

4. That cut's just right for your bone structure (face shape, etc.).

5. No, it doesn't look too young for you.

6. ME: "I was thinking of doing . . . " STYLIST: "I Love it!"

And last, but a personal favorite

7. Not many people could pull that off, but you totally do.



Have you ever heard any of those and knew you were in trouble? What have you heard that's made you second guess how good you actually look?



PS Jenn--no offense to you. I think you're awesome and TOTALLY believe you. It just some other members of your trade.

Wednesday's Q&A

It’s a little long but there were so many exciting things in my life this week (HA) that I had a lot to write about. I’m sure you’ll agree.

Q: What momentous thing happened this week on our street?
A: The port-a-potty that has been there since we moved in (3 mos.ago) is finally gone.

Hip Hip . . .

Q: Which one of my children writes like Da Vinci?
A: Asher. See the picture for proof. Apparently after doing his writing practice this morning he decided to use the other side of his brain for a bit of a challenge. He gets it from me. “Research suggests that the ability to do mirror writing is probably inherited and caused by atypical language organization in the brain.[1]. It is also hypothesized to be a X-linked dominant condition.[““(Wikipedia)

Q: What store grand opening am I totally excited about? (Hint: I hate shopping so it’s nothing like Nordstrom or whatnot.)
A: Sunflower Farmer’s Market in Orem. Local and Organic food/produce at CHEAP prices. Now THAT is something I get excited about.

Q: If Jason’s cell phone is sitting on the counter and ringing while he is the hot tub should I
1. Answer it, even if it is old HS buddies who clearly do not want to talk to me or else they would have called our home number, and what do they really have to say to me anyway
Or
2. Leave it to go to voicemail, like a good wife
A: The correct answer is #1. I answer it because I would rather do that than hear the kids “Mom, the phone’s ringing, answer it, mom, mom, the phone, it’s ringing answer it” and so on and so forth for five rings and the beep of voicemail.

Q: Is it safe to eat pita bread that has a date on it of 8/5 (I’m guessing that’s the day it was made) and has a few mold spots but I just rip off and eat the parts that don’t have mold on them?
A: Apparently so. I ate some Monday evening as a late night snack with some chicken salad. Since I felt fine Tuesday, I had some more of the same Tuesday morning for breakfast. I know, I have healthy eating habits. I told you I like food and apparently I don’t have a discriminating palate. And strong stomach acid.

Q: How did school pictures go this week?
A: As to be expected. I was very excited because I actually remembered that there were school pictures. I pulled Mara into the bathroom to curl her hair and she started crying before I did a thing. It’s the ONE day a year that I will curl your hair daughter, suck it up. Anyway, in the crying and moaning she moved and the curling iron brushed by her ear for a nanosecond and the crying went up a notch. As for me, my first picture I was talking and I have an expression of “I won the what?” on my face. The second one was ok but they had no mirror to look in beforehand. If I had, I would have noticed my hair sticking out and would have fixed it.

In case you’re wondering yes, I had school pictures, for my offical PTA badge. That’s right. I’m official. I don’t know what I’m doing yet. But’s it’s official that I’m official.

Nadal's nasties

I love watching tennis.
Which shouldn't surprise you all since I am such an accomplished tennis player myself. (sarcasm)
So, in watching the US Open, how many times did I get to see Nadal (Rafael Nadal from Spain, was ranked No. 1, get with it y'all) pick his underwear out from his bum?
ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED SIXTY SEVEN
I did the math. Well, I used the calculator on my computer to do the math.
That's one for every single point.
EVERY SINGLE POINT I saw that man pick his bum.
Nadal, you are (well, were) ranked no.1 in the world in tennis. I think you should know by now which underwear not to wear.
Or do you like having everyone watch?

I wanted to post a photo of said picking but didn't know if people would be offended or if kids would be watching. But for those who really want to see it, here is an awesome picture of it. And by awesome I mean disgusting, hilarious and obnoxious.
http://sports.webshots.com/photo/1363822360054837740dtsjzO

PS I did a google search to find an image and there were so many comments with people annoyed by this. One person actually asked if he wears a G-string. Maybe?
Here's a few amusing articles regarding this phenomenon.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1362861.ece
http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,21886480-7642,00.html

Wednesday's Q&A

A Weekly Feature (don't I sound official)

Q. What type of parent takes their 10 yr. old daughter(an estimate but a good one)on a motorcycle on the freeway?
A. The type of parent that rides a motorcycle on the freeway without shoes on. Yes, I really saw this BUT they did have helmets so they are protecting the most important parts, I guess.

Q. In 8 days of school how many times has Mara forgot/lost something?
A. 5 times. Lunch box 2 times. Library book once. Jacket once. "Forgot" she even brought a lunch so had to get school lunch on credit, once. (my personal favorite.)

Q. Which foods are very deceiving to kids in that they appear to be yummy but actually are disgusting?
A. Cocoa powder, vanilla, chicken buillion cubes and the most disgusting one: shortening. I have personal experience in trying each of these as a kid because I thought they looked/smelled so good.

Social Anthrax

I played a little game of Apples to Apples in my head to describe the horrible social skills I have, and this is what I came up with. How honest should I be on my blog without people being deterred? I guess we'll see.
I am Social Anthrax.
I don't mean that I KILL, yo, in social situations.
Not like that. No. I mean, I'm horrible.
I talk too much.
I'm too opinionated,
too open,
too blunt,
too much of everything I shouldn't be.
After every social situation I am kicking myself for talking too much and not thinking about what I say. Now, I don't resign myself too this. My constant goal is to talk less and listen more. But, alas . . .
One of my biggest fears is that my kids will be socially inadequate because of me. I worry about that. Way too much.
Good news.
Mara came home from her first day of school with a new best friend. She had lunch with 4 friends. FOUR! I wish I could have lunch with four friends.
So, there is hope. Apparently, the anthrax letter from God was only meant for me.