I played a little game of Apples to Apples in my head to describe the horrible social skills I have, and this is what I came up with. How honest should I be on my blog without people being deterred? I guess we'll see.
I am Social Anthrax.
I don't mean that I KILL, yo, in social situations.
Not like that. No. I mean, I'm horrible.
I talk too much.
I'm too opinionated,
too open,
too blunt,
too much of everything I shouldn't be.
After every social situation I am kicking myself for talking too much and not thinking about what I say. Now, I don't resign myself too this. My constant goal is to talk less and listen more. But, alas . . .
One of my biggest fears is that my kids will be socially inadequate because of me. I worry about that. Way too much.
Good news.
Mara came home from her first day of school with a new best friend. She had lunch with 4 friends. FOUR! I wish I could have lunch with four friends.
So, there is hope. Apparently, the anthrax letter from God was only meant for me.
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7 comments:
four friends?! i don't even know four people here! i can't believe she replaced me so quickly! and i think you're great the way you are, i love you tons and miss your wonderful socialnessnessness here!!!
I loved talking to you all those long hours at work! You are so much fun in a conversation - and not nearly as loud and interupting as I am, so there:)
- Sara xx
Ha ha, you're funny. I don't think you're social anthrax. I could use a little more of your talkativeness.
Ahh don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you're making it out to be more horrible than it is. I have more social avoidance. I see people and I wish I could run the other way.
I know the feeling SO well. After most social situations I tell myself that I just need to stop talking altogether. Then I would have nothing to feel bad about later. Have you ever heard of The Color Code? You must have some blue in you because that is a very blue thing to do (analyze, regret, etc.) I am almost all blue and I drive myself crazy a lot of the time. But understanding why I am the way I am helps(you should read the book). I am rambling and making no sense. My main point is, as much as I wish I weren't so open and opinionated, I find that lots of people actually like those traits. I like it in others (yourself included) and so I hope they like it in me and if they don't then we probably wouldn't get along well anyway. (See what I mean about over-analyzing everything?)
Actually I think you are a good listener. I always like talking to you on the phone and I like the way you are interested in lots of things and have so many good ideas.
Speaking of being socially inadequate, I was the biggest social mess when I was a teenager--gigantic eczema rash all over my face for two to three years, wore my pajamas year round, had ten life size Star Wars cardboard cut outs in the hall by my room and had no friends. And look how cute I turned out!
What? Social anthrax? You constantly surprise and amaze me Luisa. It is nice to know that someone as wonderful, talented and kind as you are can be vulnerable too. So, you are human after all eh? I had my suspicions all along....
Our visit will linger pleasantly in my mind for a good long while. Hopefully, I can add to my repertoire of new Gough Family memories. Nevada and Utah aren't that far apart.... ~m
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