The blog dilemma

So, you're thinking I forgot about my blog or have been so busy I haven't posted. While both of the above could be true really it boils down to the blog dilemma. Or dilemmas.

1- do you post on your blog just to post something even if it isn't that interesting? Just to remind people you still have a blog that you are keeping alive, even if it is boring? But then you take the chance that people stop reading bc well, it's boring.

2-to make a blog somewhat interesting you've got to give something a little juicy. Am I willing to do that to keep people reading? Posting about swim lessons, story time, summer travels and whatnot are great. But after a while everyone loses interest. I mean, you can find thousands of other mommy bloggers posting the same things. Probably with their kids in the same poses, coming down a water slide, hiking in the mountains, yea, yea. What keeps my interest in blogs is when people get personal. They share the dirt. That's the good stuff. But I don't know that I'm willing to do that. Partially because it is personal but usually because it also implicates other people in the process-family members, friends, neighbors, anyone who may have been involved int latest scandals. Oh yes, I have scandals! And wouldn't you like to know ...
So, what do you say? Boring family humdrum or interesting opinions and scandals that I really shouldn't share but I know you'd love to hear just so you can feel better about yourself?

Boring: I ran Ragnar (a running relay race) 20 miles in 12 hours, no sleep. Awesomeness. Also did a triathlon, and some other races. Found a new band I liked-Beirut, having fun with the kids over the summer, hiking, went to Oregon for a few days to see my brother off to brazil for a mission, keeping busy playing with friends and family.

Interesting: was yelled at for having postpartum by a close friend, struggled for a while and took a break from everything while I sorted things out to figure out what I really wanted for myself. Feeling rather rebellious and entitled but quite enjoying it so don't be surprised when you hear some pretty brash things come out of my mouth. How's that for juicy but too much honesty?
Well, there you have it

There's a first time for everything

Here are a few recent firsts.

"Tie"-Dyed EggsI saw these on this website months ago and have been excited for Easter. It was really easy and fun. The eggs looked SO cool. BTW- is anyone else re-thinking the Easter Bunny? Next year our Easter Bunny will be very different. Less candy. Fo' Shur!

Cloth Diapers

This is something I've wanted to do for a long time but have been intimidated. It's a whole different language that frankly, is so cheesy and obnoxious. (Think "Fuzzibunz", "Bumgenius", "Happy Heinys", "The Cloth Diaper Whisperer"- I only wish I was joking. That's not even the worst of them.) Anyway, after visiting my SIL Megan who is making some great steps toward being more eco-friendly (check out this blog for ideas) I knew that it was time to take the plunge. I spent hours researching and some moolah with my initial purchase BUT I am very pleased to report that I am loving it. Jason wasn't completely on board at first but I think he is coming around. Check out that booty! That is the diaper- no cover. So cute, right? Next Step- Waste Free Lunches.

Half Marathon

I consider myself a runner even if I'm not always consistent. Between pregnancies and babies it makes it hard. I started running a few weeks after Lanie's birth and it felt great but shortly after developed hip pain. I discovered that my tendons were messed up from the broken tailbone in delivery so I started Physical therapy and was told to take a break from running. Jason's company was a sponsor of the SL Marathon and Half so we signed up for free. I've always wanted to do a 1/2 marathon and the cheapskate in me could not let the opportunity pass. So, that's how I ended up doing a 1/2 marathon with NO training. And by no training I mean that it had been over a month since I had run at all and in 2011 if you added up all my runs together they may have totaled a 1/2 marathon. I was quite nervous that it would be pure torture but I've always felt that I could run and run as long as I went slow. Well, that's exactly what I did and it was AWESOME! I loved it. I felt great, it was so fun and I can't wait to do another.

The "Talk"

That's right. For any of you who have to approach this topic let me introduce you to a great icebreaker "Sex in a Pan." That's right. I initiated this conversation by having Mara help me make dessert for Sunday dinner which was "Sex in a Pan." It was great. We talked about it while making dessert. Relaxed and comfortable. We'll just see where this leads . . .

Mockingjay baby

That's right folks. You saw it here first.

His Name is Asher

Recently it was Asher's birthday so I figure that it's time to gush. If you don't like mothers who gush about their children then please, don't hesitate to go to something way more interesting, like facebook, or your laundry.

This week at school Asher is the "Monster of the week". A little cheesy but cute nonetheless. Essentially he is being spotlighted this week. It's one of those things that as a parent you can feel annoyed about because it is one more thing to have to be on top of. But on the other hand- it gives you a chance to stop and think about your child and how special they are.

Every day this week there is a new thing to do- Monday: poster, Tuesday: favorite story to bring and read, Wednesday: Estimating Jar, Thursday: Special Something about child, Friday: Special Surprise. Like I said, it's a love-hate thing. Of course I think my child is something special and want him to have his chance to shine but it also feels like a time for the parents to shine because the more creative you are and more time you put in the better your child looks. I hate that. I'm not creative--Hello, blog title, and especially not when I'm tired, which, with 4 children and a nighttime nursing baby, when am I not tired? (Let's not forget I just got back in town from one trip and then leave for another on Friday, with no husband in town, and I've got other deadlines looming over me . . .) As I thought about the Thursday special something about my child (suggestion ideas- write a story, write a poem, blah, blah) I felt overwhelmed until BAM, I realized that music is one thing that Jason and I can do. So VOILA- a song is born. During Mara's violin lesson I wrote the ultra-sappy but oh so true lyrics. Then Jason pounded out the guitar and drums and we each did our own vocals. Nothing radio worthy but I think that Asher will feel special and loved and it shares just a little of how we feel about this sweet, tender boy that is such an integral part of our family.

On Perfection

The Perfect Woman

I know how to do it! That's right. I've got the secret. It's really all smoke and mirrors and I'm getting good at it. After having a hard autumn (just call me Crazy Hormone Woman) I've finally gained a little self-control when it comes to my tongue. (Long overdue- I know.) It was a necessity if I was to keep control of my tears. I've realized how much better I come across when I just keep my mouth closed. I can look like I have it all together. I just get dressed (I know- shouldn't be hard, right) show up on time to things, do what's asked of me and say nothing. It's really quite easy. Just don't come over. Or look in my car. Or look too closely at my kids. Or look in my pantry. (Yes, there are 5 combs, 3 flashlights, 2 toothbrushes, 1 belt buckle and innumerable sets of chopsticks in my pantry- all completely necessary.) Or get too close. With friends- all bets are off.

The Perfect Baby

How in the world did I survive motherhood before? Truly, I say that my joy in motherhood has grown immensely with dear Lanie. Of course, she's not quite perfect- she isn't sleeping through the night. But really, I'm okay with that. She is an angel. Just when I needed one. I only hope that her toddler years are just as angelic!

The Perfect Middle ChildSugar and spice and everything nice . . .

Ahh, and now, true perfection. Now I don't mean the that Eden is the Perfect Child. I mean, Eden has perfected the art of being the middle child. (I know, the irony of the name is not lost on me.) You know, the one who screams for attention. You want a power struggle? You got it. It really takes nothing to have a power struggle. She can create one out of thin air. What's that Eden, you don't want to walk? OK, I'll carry you. Oh, you don't want me to carry you. OK, umm, you just want to sit on the floor and cry and blame me for everything wrong in your life. Sure, I'm positive that's what people come to the library for.

Tantrums? You got it! Again, she's pretty creative. She can find a subject. Today she has had 2 tantrums that have consisted of "It's too far 'til my birthday. I can't wait that long." Her birthday isn't until June. Where does she come up with this stuff?

We go day by day- some days she doesn't want to be called cute, or she doesn't want to be funny and I can't laugh at her. She keeps me on my toes! I must say, I don't find much validation as a mother when my 3 year old says "I don't want parents. I don't want you as a mom. "

That's when I just smile to myself and think of the hundreds of times that people tell me this time goes too fast and I'll wish for it back. I'm logging the memories to relive someday when my house is peaceful and quiet.

2010-- A Year in Numbers

1 family member lost- RIP Zoe

68 times I came home expecting to hear Zoe's tail wagging welcoming me home

68 times I was so grateful to not have to clean up dog poop

100 music lessons paid for and driving to and from

7500 hours practicing violin and piano

24 buttons busted while watching children perform

1 kid added to the family

10 years added to my life

22 the amount of times people have asked me if we are "done"

500 meals delivered through "Meals on Wheels"

50 the number of times one of my meals on wheels recipient has said "you look too young to have 4 children."

50 the number of times that compliment made me feel good. (Yes, I am that needy!)

33 times Eden colored somewhere she shouldn't (books, walls, body, beds, etc.)

33 times cleaning and doing consequences before I finally got smart and threw away the markers

6 average hours of sleep per night

8 average hours NEEDED of sleep per night

27 cranky whiny moments during the day from lack of sleep FOR MOM!

4 beautiful, needy, funny, whiny, sweet, frustrating children

13 moments a day of "this is madness"

infinite moments a day of laughter, sweetness, fleeting childhood

7 unfinished blog posts

20 funny remarks thought of to put on blog

0 funny remarks posted on blog

unknown people still reading my blog

I'm converted.

Well people, it has finally happened. It only took 4 children to get me here but I've finally come 'round.

I like babies.

There. I've said it and I'm not going back. I finally got a baby that doesn't have reflux. Only moderate colic (lasted through about 9 weeks). She is 3 1/2 months now. She sleeps in her crib for naps- not my arms. She smiles; she plays; she gains weight; she only wakes up 2 times at night. It's heavenly. So, while I've had my roughest recovery. (Broken tailbone- still hurting) Every time I look at that dear, sweet child I can't help but smile. She is beautiful and lovable and pure joy. NOW, I understand why people like babies and want to just have babies. When I'm holding her, it's just to hold her and have fun; not working to keep her from crying and fussing. Imagine that- holding a baby for the fun of it. It is an amazing concept.
I finally get what all the fuss is about!
Now- admire:

The price you pay

Wiping muddy footprints off the counter-- that's the price you pay for giving the 3yr old the chore of wiping the counter.

Single parenting for weeks --that's the price you pay for having a stable job.

Walking out of the house with kids that look like they dressed in the dark --that's the price you pay for teaching your children independence and letting them dress themselves.

Dirty newspapers on the bathroom counters, garbage cans not put away properly, re-vacuuming the house--that's the price you pay for giving your kids chores and teaching them to contribute to the family and work.

Kids who are tired and cranky because they sneak out of bed to lay by the nightlight and read-- that's the price you pay for teaching them to love books.

Spending all day Saturday at the music store for violin recital, ensemble festival and so on-- that's the price you pay to help your kids gain valuable music skills that they will cherish in life.

Fractured tailbone, bleeding all over, bloodshot eyes, constant postpartum weepiness--that's the price you pay for a gorgeous, sweet child.

This Thanksgiving I recognize that while there is a price to pay for most things, the blessings outweigh the input. Although my life is busy and exhausting and hard work-- I wouldn't have it any other way. Even in my worst, most difficult moments I can truly say I would do it all again for what I gain--4 beautiful, amazing children who make me laugh and cry daily and a husband who works hard and cares for us.

PS The picture has nothing to do with the post. It is just the most recent photo of all of us. The whole scooby gang-- Daphne, Shaggy, Freddy, Velma, Scrappy doo and Scooby Doo. We had fun this Halloween. Hope you did too!