Moral of the Story: Don't try to teach your kids

Once upon a time the prince of the household wanted some Star Wars legos just like his friends. His mother, the ruler of the kingdom (that's right!) decided it would be a great opportunity to teach the young prince the value of money and hard work. The Star Wars legos were $10 so the young prince needed to do chores around the manor to earn $10. Unfortunately, the young prince did not understand that one does not earn $10 in a day. It required more chores than expected and he wanted instant gratification. It became a source of constant annoyance to the great ruler as the young prince was always asking what chores could be done when it wasn't an ideal time and expected to earn more money than the chore was worth. He grew frustrated that it was taking longer than he expected (more than 1 day that is) and the ruler got tired of his constant complaints that he didn't have more than he wanted and how long would it take to get the toys and so on and so forth. The ruler quickly learned that it is better to not have her subjects earn money at all for anything and thus her subjects were forced into her servitude with nothing to gain but warmth, love, food, and protection. So, to the rest of you rulers out there-- don't add extra discord in your kingdom by trying to teach your princes/princesses the value of money and hardwork. They will never be satisfied and you will frustrated for even trying.
And so it was and so it ever will be.
The end.

You know what really makes me feel like a bad mom . . .

Of all the things that make me feel like a bad mom (and believe me, there are plenty) one that always seems to make me guilt ridden is the library. Crazy but true. As I'm driving to the library and planning how I'm going to tell the librarian that I can't seem to find 3 books even though I just de-junked my house, and yes my child spilled a little something on that book and I know that all my books are late-- the guilt and anxiety start to wreak havoc. I feel like I have to admit to a clergy that I was necking. As I was talking to the librarian he made some very friendly suggestions, such as look under the couch (my furniture has all been moved to clean carpets) or try under the beds (cleaned those during de-junking.) I feel like some sort of negligent mom who can't keep track of things. Which, apparently, I can't. Even with my newly applied efforts at organization, where we have 1 place for library books, they still get lost.
But, it gets worse.
Last week in an effort to return things on time I quickly went through the drive-thru to drop off some stuff that I knew was late. I returned home to find a message from the library where the lady not-so-kindly informed me that a book on tape was returned with something on the case that "looked like dried blood as if someone had a bloody nose all over it." OK, that is disgusting. BUT NOT TRUE. I know we lose books and Eden isn't always soft with them but my kid would not get a bloody nose all over something and then I just return it to the library all willy-nilly. Now, I'm worried that I've been blacklisted. It is on my account. Everytime I call in or check something out I will be flagged as the lady who turned in the bloody nose stuff. Wonderful. Just wonderful. Should I avoid going to the library all together? Or get a card out under my daughter's name so I can have a fresh start?
Maybe it's just me. Or my library. I have to say, in the new town we're in these librarians are much more like the kind I was scared of in school than the sweet old lady type.
Please people, am I the only one?

PS
I did pick up the offending tape case which OBVIOUSLY had chocolate on it. I cleaned it myself to avoid the $1.50 fine of them cleaning it. Chocolate/Blood, anyone could mistake the two.

Shh, don't tell

. . .my kids that I flushed a roly-poly down the toilet. (In my defense, it was in my bathroom and I would have had to walk all the way downstairs to take it outside. It was much easier to flush it.)

. . .Jason that the house was much cleaner last week while he was gone than when he is here. I really don't understand it because he does help out so much and is a very clean husband. Go figure.

. . .my kids that I tossed the special Mother's day treats they made for me. Hey, I don't like chocolate.

. . .Jason that I think the last few gifts he's gotten "me" have actually been for him. A bag of chocolates for Easter? I don't even like chocolate. New phones for Mother's day? I had no problem with our phones, but he did.

. . .my sister that even though I'm really excited and happy for her to get married I'm a little sad that I won't have any single sisters to fly in and nanny my kids while Jason and I go on our cruise.

. . .my Mother-in-law that we gave my mother $60 for her Mother's day present and only gave her a phone call.

. . .my neighbor that my dog pooped in their flowers and I didn't pick it up. It is a big flower bed and you can't even see it under all the flowers. Really.

. . .my piano students that I really want to quit teaching next year but don't know how to break it to them. Can I really do that to them? (I've been teaching some of them for 5 yrs.)

. . .my kids that sometimes I feel that nice guys/girls really do finish last. But they still have to always be nice. Even if they don't get what they give.

A Lesson in being STUBBORN

I know, I know, I just did a post about Mara so you'll have to forgive me.
Mara brought home her reading book and started and read the main character's name as "Sa-ha".

Me "Mara, it is 'Sasha'".
Mara "I know, I just wanted to say it 'Sa-ha'".

She then proceeded to read the whole book and call the main character "Sa-ha".

Of course. Always stand your ground, girl. You never know when it will be really important.

Look what Mara came home from school with--

I try not to do posts about - my kids did this, they said that, etc and so on- too much but this was an exciting moment in my daughter's life. Actually, according to her, this is the best day of her life. The school had a reading program where they turn in their minutes and for every certain amount of minutes they get to put their name on a ticket for drawings to win prizes. And VOILA! The Grand Prize Winner.
She is elated. (And those are all flowers in the background, no weeds. Please, don't look too closely. Just trust me.) Her teacher was excited for her b/c she has done some of the most reading of the kids in her class and was glad a deserving student won. She told me the first thing Mara said was "but I already have a bike." Which is true BUT the bike she has my brother won in a contest and is actually a boy's bike. So now she can have the bike of her dreams (streamers, girl colors and everything) and I can save the other for Asher. This is the first bike that she received first hand. Her first 2 wheeler we got from DI. So, not to say she deserves it (don't want to sound too entitled, that's a dangerous thing these days) but, she may appreciate it more than some other kids.

PS Apologies to Audrey, one of Mara's good friends, who Mara told me cried because she didn't win. I'm sorry!

What the ????

Have you ever had to figure out whether your child had chocolate or poop on their hands?

I have.

Chocolate. Whew!

Efforts at conservation

Task One: Do the dishes.
Additional tasks: 2.clean up the spilled orange juice from child pouring their own cup.
3.sweep up the spilled protein drink powder.
4. wipe up the marker on the table, floor, child.
5. Change child's orange juice soaked, marker stained clothing.
Task Two: Fold the laundry. (Note: this does not include putting it away, a whole different task.)
Additional tasks: 2. Put away games dumped out on floor.
3. Clean up contents of piano bench pulled out for discovery.
4. Remake bed that has been made into tent.
5. Clean up spilled dog water.
6. Change child's dog water soaked clothing.

Energy conservation mode:
Sit and read or color with children all day. When your friend(s) come over and see dirty dishes in the sink, a pile of clean laundry on the couch, the baby in a diaper; tell them you are practicing energy conservation.
At the end of the day you only have 2 tasks to complete instead of 11.
Pat yourself on the back for helping the environment and saving your sanity.