Mara has a schoolmate that I do not particularly like for her. Plain and simple. Mara played at her house and I didn't like how it went so I thought we would only let them play at our house. I feel stressed like I constantly have to be watching them or someone gets hurt or something inappropriate is said or done. Now granted, it isn't anything horrible but nevertheless it isn't what I want for my child. So, now what? It makes it harder because I know her mom and really like her. My current plan is to tell Mara that she can no longer play with her and Mara can communicate the message so I don't have to. Sound good? I know, I know, pretty sleazy. Any ideas?
Addendum: I spoke with Mara this morning about "Jane". She told me she tried to tell "Jane" she wanted to take a break from playing with her at recess (she came up with that on her own-- I was impressed) and "Jane" cried and told the aide (who happens to also be her aunt) who then told Mara to be nice to "my litte Jane". (As quoted by Mara.) She said she's tried to tell her she wants to play with other people but she gets mad.
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4 comments:
That's tough... I'm not looking forward to having to deal with issues like that. Good luck!
wow her aunt works at the school? That is going to be a hard one to figure out, Luisa! It sounds like Mara is at least still young enough to value your opinion so highly and take your advice so willingly. Maybe you should find out who is Mara's second best choice for a playmate is and really focus on encouraging that relationship (invite her over a lot or something) rather than trying to actively stop her friendship with Jane? Just an idea! - Sara
I'm not big on telling my kids they can't play with people. I totally know where you're coming from though as my kids have playmates that I don't really like. I haven't really had to deal with real concerns yet but I think I would just be honest with them. Something like "I don't like that when you play with "blank" I have to worry about what is said or done. I'd rather you pick another friend to play with today." Then I'd slip something in about being nice or a good example. So far most of their friends are ward members or neighbors so I know the families fairly well. That's hard though.
I thought about it some more and realize I frequently use avoidance as a technique. That being said, my problem with my kids friends are more things like, they annoy the crap out of me. Grace has one friend that always wants me to make her mac and cheese! Hello?! We don't even have it in the house and I thought you were here to play! Or whiney kids. So far those have been my biggest problems.
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