Thursday, November 22, 2007
Nature vs. Nurture
OK, I've decided that I am kind of an anomaly as a girl. I grew up poor. Farmer's daughter, 10 kids. I was scrawny and got my growth spurt late. I actually wore hand-me-downs from a girl a year younger than me! But, I actually didn't care that much. I didn't worry about the things girls worry about. Now, I have this daughter that I have NO idea what to do with. She likes the exact opposite things from me-- sparkly, pink, atrocious. She is obsessed with makeup, high heels, and getting her ears pierced. It really is amazing and it is a testament to me that kids really come wired a certain way. I always believed really strongly in the nurture side of things. I thought that if I was a good mom my kids would behave a certain way. Yet, I have this daughter who, when I watch her, acts as if she's a spoiled brat who always gets what she wants. She had a rough day at school this week and as I was "talking" to her she was explaining all that went on. She has this friend who is a brat, sorry, but true. Anyway, Mara acts up with her and as Mara was telling me the things she had done I asked Mara why she was friends with her. (She isn't particularly nice.) Mara informed me that she has the prettiest face, is the fastest runner and has the prettiest clothes. Oh, so that's how you choose your friends. I am appalled!! Where does she get this from and how does she even notice this? She is 5! It is truly unbelievable. All the people we really hang out with aren't that way AT ALL so how is it that she notices this and it is important. Needless to say, I quoted a little scripture ("The Lord looketh upon the heart") and gave her a nice lecture and then prayed that maybe the fact that we are dealing with this now means we will have it out of the way by the time she is older and the girls get meaner. I have always had a strong dislike for "popular" girls who treat other people as if they are worth less. That is my biggest pet peeve. And that would be my daughter. All I know, is Heavenly Father sure has a keen sense of irony.
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2 comments:
Nooooo way. What is a mom to do? At least Mara has been blessed with honesty in addition to her affinity for sparkles and pretty faces. You must have died when she gave her explanation for choosing friends.
What a clever little thing. Are you sure you didn't go through a princess stage at age 5? I think that was my "I want to be a cheerleader when I grow up" phase.
Good luck, and keep us posted (and laughing).
Ah the joys of raising girls. My girls were a lot more into the girly stuff than I was but I attribute it to me growing up with only an older brother and on a farm. They have calmed down a bit but now we are dealing with the whole boy thing. They talk about who likes them and who is their "boyfriend". It drives me insane! I mainly ignore it or say something like "we don't have boyfriends, just boys who are friends." Grace told me that a boy in her class told her she was hot the other day. "No mom. Hot like love." UGH! This is going on in grade one! I sub in Hanna's class and while she seems to be universally liked, she doesn't seem to care when all the other girls are huddled around each other during free time. Hanna plays UNO with the boys or reads at her desk. It's hard. Both Ryan and I worry about them but we're doing the best we can.
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